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Thursday, December 15, 2005

 

Humour: CULTURAL EDUCATION AND TAKING RUGBY FURTHER

In the spirit of reconciliation and our ten year old democracy, the intrepid roving reporter of Ruggaworld, DavidS has decided that the time has come to spread the word of the cultural nuances of South Africa’s various people about. Yesterday, poster provincejoulekkading published a guide to understanding what people from the Cape Flats are saying. Today, DavidS visits the people of Lenasia (or Lens) as they call it and tells our readers how to speak to them when visiting this fascinating mix of Afro-Euro-Asian cultural fusion

Cabbie: Car

Witoh: A white person (as in: “I checked out the witoh at the robot with a GTI and all”)

And all: An acceptable way to end a sentence (as in: “I’m tuning this witou and all”)

Tune: Either done to a car or when speaking to someone. (as in: “What you tuning me and all?” or “Hey I tuned my cabbie right? So now it’ll drag a BM 325 and all.”)

Drag: Street racing

Rounds: Tyres (as in: “Hey check out my new Yokohama rounds and all.”)

Darkie: Black person (as in: “I tuned the darkie at the garage to put sky in my rounds.”)

Clips: R100 notes (as in: “Hey I paid three clips for petrol and all)

Shades: Sunglasses (as in: “Hey I schnaaid my medical aid with Ray-Ban shades and all”)

Hey: An acceptable way to start a sentence. The opposite of “and all” (as in: “Hey that ou tuned me whatwhat and all”

Right: Not a direction. It’s a word that ends a sentence as a question. (as in: Now the ou in the BM at the robot goois me a glare right?”)

Ou: Referral to a person, but in a negative way. Being called an “Ou” in not a good thing. Pronounced “Oh”.

Drop: Winning a fight or drag race. (As in: “This ou tuning me whatwhat got dropped with one capsizing blow”)

Whatwhat: Addressing a person in a negative way. It is acceptable to ask the ou in the bar why he’s tuning your cherrie “whatwhat”. It is however not a good idea to ask the Metro Cop who pulled you off for speeding why he’s tuning you “whatwhat”, as then there will be lots of “whatwhat” tuned

Boere: The police or Metro

Sun City: Diepkloof Prison in Soweto. (As in: “Hey I tuned the boere who pulled me off why they’re tuning me whatwhat right? Hey then they put me in Sun City for the weekend one time and all”)

Onetime: Not the new budget airline. The phrase “onetime” refers to something immediate. (As in: “This ou was tuning me whatwhat so I dropped him onetime and all”)

Cherrie: Female (As in: “Hey I want to take this cherrie for a ride in my cabbie right?”)

Lens: Lenasia. A traditionally Asian residential area south of Johannesburg. (As in: My pozzie’s in Lens and all.”

Pozzie: The place where you stay. See above.

Schnaai: To figuratively screw someone over. (As in: “Hey, let me tune you one time, I schnaaid that darkie three clips down for the new sounds in my cabbie and all”)

Sounds: The music system in a car. (As in: “Hey check this out one time. I got me a new tweeter and subwoofer for my sounds and all”)

So next time our loyal readers come to Johannesburg and have the opportunity to visit the quant town of Lenasia, Just pull in at Lens and all and tune the Ous and all. Till next time, when DavidS will bring our loyal readers another snippet of news in his travels and travails around the world. Lastly, DavidS just wants to express his thanks to the Ruggaworld Board for financing his travels around the world and hushing attempts from British, Singaporean and New Zealand authorities to have him extradited. Oh yes and thanks for paying off the cops in Ventersdorp too.

There has been no attempt in Kwazulu-Natal to take rugby to the Indian community. I know traditionally Asians are supposed to enjoy cricket and soccer more, but it is an untapped market for rugby to market itself against. I wonder why nobody has actually taken the time to find out why this is so. I watched the 1995 RWC Final at a pub with three Indian friends who cried and embraced me when the whistle went. However, I have never seen or heard of Asian rugby players, aside from those in Japan (which mostly consists of Kiwi cast-off imports in any case)
Comments:
I had to do this.

Today's just been too serious for my liking.
 
What do they call a Dragon in Lens?  
Good question Donner


I suppose...a dragon...and all?
 
davids
so who are we ganging up on? St.P?

he's just too windgat for my liking... bloody thick boere thug...lol
 
where's all the advertisements on the left side of the page? And all the older arti's?  
Older ati's under the archives section wes

Ja, and to make matters worse he's a chef in Russia, originally from Cape Town and supports the Bulls.

How psychopathic is that....geez...
 
WPW
Gang up on me?

Does your boy friend know that you are behaving so nasty?

Incedently, does your father carry a handbag?

75-14
kiss kiss
 
Schizophrenic I mean....

And he has laid women of every race, creed, colour and persuasion in the world..., which is impressive I must say
 
heheheheh

Ja StP

Knew we'd get a rise from you....

23-17

38-22

The only team with a better win-loss record against the Bulls this year....
 
Who finished last in the S12 this year?

The Cats or the Sharks?

11th or 12th?

Currie Cups......fokol.
 
heheheh

Just like the Bulls

We've been to 2 semis

You?

We've beaten the Stormers at Newlands


You?
 
I'm talking about the Super 12 of course

That competition where the Bulls have only moved from last place in 2004 and 2005
 
Ja....and you would've had a home semi in 2000 had the Bulls not pumped your lot at Ellis.  
And that was a kak Bulls side  
St.P

i cant believe you from CT and you support those thick boere thugs!!!
do you perhaps fit in with all those slow ugly dutchies from PTA? (sorry aldo)

davidS
i have a review with my boss in the next hr...hectic. Ag, i know it will be OK. No stress...
 
St.P
the bulls are a crap side.
Go Cheetahs, Go Ollie. lol
 
I can only hope your boss is a Bulls fan and rides your ass!!!  
lol@StP


Just like we got you lot back for that home semi this year StP

And this was a crap Cats side...performance wise at least...


Good luck wes.

You'll be okay.

Jisis StP


At least we beat the Cheetahs 2/2

How could you lot lose to a team that uses Ollie as an impact player!!!!!
 
Sometimes the truth is stranger than the legend:

http://www.iol.co.za/index.php?set_id=1&click_id=13&art_id=vn20050719062716605C899157
 
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