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Tuesday, December 13, 2005

 

DIE WAARHEID SPEAKS TO DavidS AT HIS FARM IN VENTERDORP


Our intrepid reporter, DavidS takes us to the picturesque town of Venterdorp where he is introducing Yvette to the cultural nuances of the country by interviewing another famous poster maligned by Muppits, namely Die Waarheid. Die Waarheid is famous for his anti-transformation stance. He has asked us not to reveal his identity as speaking to the media is a breach of his parole conditions. Unfortunately, he has insisted on speaking in Afrikaans.

DW: Ek dring aan daarop dat jy my in my eie taal aanspreek.

DS: Nou maar goed Meneer Die Waarheid. Kom ons begin by die begin. Waarom al die haat teenoor swart mense en transformasie?

DW: Ek wil dit byvoorbaat stel dat ek geen haat koester jeens die swart massas nie. Ek kom goed met hulle oor die weg. Kyk maar na Jonas wat hier die stoep vee. As hy hom nie gedra nie en hy raak te wit dan kry hy ‘n oorveeg, en dis hoe mens met die goed moet werk. Dan kom jy met hulle oor die weg.

DS: Maar dit antwoord nie my vraag nie?

DW: Goed, wat ek duidelik wil maak is dat hierdie land as die van ons uitgekorene volk sien. Nou kom hierdie houtkoppe en hulle wil alles wat onse volk opgeboiu het van ons af wegneem en verkwansel aan hulle transformasie.

DS: Maar wat van rugby? Wat het dit daarmee te make?

DW: Rugby is die sport van onse volk. Die uitgekorene volk. En nou kom die goed met hulle transformasie en hulle wil hê dat ons die sport van ons volk moet opoffer aan hulle sodat hulle met hulle kroes koppe saam met ons volk moet speel. Al wat dit op neerkom is ‘n poging om die kultuur te ondermyn en vernietig.

DS: Maar hulle, soos jy na swart mense verwys speel tog die sport in Australië en Nieu Seeland, waar verskeie swart spellers deelneem. En natuurlik is hulle fenomenaal suksesvol daarmee.

DW: Maar nie hier nie. Die goed se houtkoppe is te vol gemors. Hulle kan nie in drie dimensies sien nie. Hulle weet nie wat om met hulle hande te maak nie en hulle kan net ‘n ronde bal skop. Kyk wat maak hulle met Zimbabwe.

DS: Sommige mense sou sê Zimbabwe is nie Suid Afrika nie. Waar kom die haat vir swart mense vandaan?

DW: Ek sê mos ek haat nie die goed nie!

DS: Waarom moet ons nie bydrae tot die gelykheid van almal nie. Sekerlik kan jy insien dat ‘n poging om mense gelyk te behandel en ongelykheid van die verlede weg te neem ‘n eerbare doelstelling is.

DW: Maar die goed is nie gelyk aan my nie! Hulle is ondiere! Moenie my ‘try’ nie mannetjie….

DS: Nou vertel my asseblief of jy vir Bryan Habana ondersteun as hy ‘n drie druk vir die Bokke of die Bulle?

DW: Maar natuurlik. Maar hy is nie een van hulle nie. Hy is ‘n bruin Afrikaner. Hy het bietjie wit in hom. Ek kan half met hom oor die weg kom.

DS: En vertel my wat het jy gedink van Rooigrond Gevangenis. Het jy iets van rasse gelykheid geleer daar?

DW: Ek het geleer dat my vet wit poephol in groot aanvraag was. Laat ek jou vertel dat as jy eers ‘n groot lang dik swart …

DS: Ja toemaar, ek wil weet of jy vriende gehad in die tronk.

DW: Natuurlik. Met my wit poephol op offer het ek baie vriende gehad, en ja meeste van hulle was swart. Ek het veral gehou van Vusi die groot ou Zulu wat my elke aand styf vasgehou het.

DS: En jou bediende?

DW: Wat van haar? Sy’s ‘n beter steek as daai Jani Allen koei!

DS: So laat ek dit reg lees. Jy haat swart mense, maar jy het geen beswaar om seksuele omgang met hulle te hê nie en jy sal hulle ondersteun as hulle goed speel vir die Bokke en die Bulle?

DW: Presies.

DS: Okei, ek is soos Dali Tambo. Na elke onderhoud gee ek my gas ‘n geskenk van Ruggaworld af.

DW: Nee maar dis gaaf. Jy sien na ek van my perd afgeval het, en almal dit gesien het op televisie is ek half skrikkerig vir die media.

DS: Nou maar staan op, hou jou ken so, en…

[DavidS gives Die Waarheid the Biggest roundhouse ever]

DW: Eeeiiinnaaaa jou wetter!.......[snork…snork] …. Ek het laas so seer gehad toe ek van my perd afgeval het op Potch se teer strate……of toe daai Zulu my boudwange die eerste keer oopgetrek het en….

[DavidS roundhouses Die Waarheid again…Jonas applauds….the housekeeper applauds and then starts to pick up Die Waarheid’s teeth lying all over the floor]


DW: Nggghhhffff……glllmmpppfff

At this stage our intrepid reporter stated that he felt personally involved and could not continue with the interview. He has said that he needed to take Yvette to Cape Town to ‘show’ her cultural diversity and where he would interview Badboyownsbliksem next, with quite a few stops along the way. Till the next time then, this is DavidS saying good hunting! He’s also asked for a picture to be published of the git so his parole officer sees it.
Comments:
Ha, ha, ha! LOL! Great article!  
Any similarities to any person living or dead is purely coincidental. This is a fictional account.  
wpw is a Cape boom roker!  
LMAO DavidS  
classic  
Davids

I dont think you've heard Tereblanche speking since his release from rooigrond or whereever. He's actually speaking to the ANC on ways to better our country and to secure a spot for the afrikaner in the future. Anyway still a fooking funny article. Jut thought I'd make wpw de moer in!
 
Davids

You seem to get around quite easily even with the current fuel shortages. Are you using other means of travel, boom for instance? :-)
 
Nice work guys  
DONNER

I drive the car that's the lightest in its class on petrol


The Honda Civic

Aside from which, Ruggaworld's **** B * O * A * R * D **** provides me with a generous travel allowance to ensure their readers get the best stories.


Aldo


I have


He is involved in church initiatives for CSI in the platteland and he is discussing ways to ensure the continued involvement of Afrikaners in SA.


But you can't hear him speak beacuse part of his parole conditions are that he is prohibited from speaking to the media. I always wonder why that have that condition. It seems absolutely useless.


They also prohibit the okes from writing books about prison and making money from it. I wonder why. I mean an oke who's done a few years in prison needs some sort of start in life after a prison term and he comes out with f***kol.

And as far as I know the punishment part ends the minute he walks out the door of the prison...
 
Davids

I see all over PTA there are posters saying that he's giving a speech on the Church Square on Friday morning. I think it's at 09:00. So apparently the part of his parole that prohibits him from leaving Venterdorp's been lifted then. I tend to agree with you that people coming out of prison should be allowed to write books about it. Anyway, enough of him, just now wpw calls me an AWB supporter.

ps. Maybe Davids should give us a report on procedings on church square this friday!
 
Hmmmm


An idea has germinated Aldo.....
 
aldo why should they be allowed to write books?

all they will say is that they found god.
 
Well PissAnt, they often struggle to get employment when they get out of jail. This causes a lot of them to go back to stealing, only way that they know of to make money. So they might not make any money with their book, but it might prolong the stealing part long enough for the people to get a job. I know ET doesn't need the money or employment at the moment, but that is for all the rest. Oh and I'm guessing that you were only joking.  
Very enjoyable.
Please keep the series running - can't wait for the one-on-one interview with Mango Sjokolade-Piesang, the not so honourable minister of health, garlick, potatoes and lemons.
 
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