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Monday, December 05, 2005

 

Communication holds the key; not only in rugby

After a few requests from all my loyal supporters, I have been granted permission to again educate my fellow rugby supporters on the living it up as a man of today. I sincerely hope that this will make your wife's/girlfriend's visits to the site very enjoyable for them.

On all fields of play we must make sure that we can communicate in a clear and understandable way. This is quite an interesting article posted on Health24 and even our rugby players may find some value by reading it.


Sexual communication

Communication in any relationship is vital. Sexual communication even more so and often the hardest thing to do.

We are generally given no tools for this and end up doing things we don’t enjoy or are not getting what we want sexually because we don’t know how to ask for it. Often we feel embarrassed about expressing our desires for fear of what our partner will think or how they’ll respond. We also don’t want to hurt their feelings.


This lack of communication leads to dissatisfaction with sexuality, which in turn causes it’s own problems. It also creates a situation of general unhappiness about not being able to fully express yourself in life.
It’s important to understand that as fearful as you are of opening up sexually, your partner is probably just as nervous as you.


A useful technique

The following technique makes this communication much easier and allows you to guide a discussion without putting any pressure on your partner.

Asking your partner HOW something feels or what he/she likes or doesn’t enjoy puts pressure on them. Firstly they have to describe something that they may be embarrassed about. Secondly many people will not say something negative for fear of offending or upsetting their partner.

The simplest and best way to begin talking about something sexual is to ask questions that require your partner to answer YES or NO, nothing else. You can do this during lovemaking or afterwards. In fact, in a neutral time and place may be even safer.

Here’s an example of how this works. Let’s use the issue of caressing your partner’s breasts. 'Do you like the way I touch your breasts?' 'Would you like me to stroke/kiss your breasts more?' 'Would you like me to stroke your breasts firmer, more gently, more on the sides etc? 'Would you like me to kiss your nipples softer?'

This allows you to learn lots about what your partner wants and how to please them in a very gentle way.

If you’re doing this during lovemaking then the format can be a little different. As you touch your partner you ask them for feedback. Let’s use the same example as before.

Kiss her nipple in a particular way and ask: Does this feel good, would you like me to do this harder, softer, faster, slower?'

Each time you ask a question and do something different wait for her to answer. You can also allow your partner to guide you by using simple words, harder, softer, slower, faster, left, right, up or down. This way you’re able to avoid negative criticism about what they’re doing.

Criticism

Because sex is so important to us, as is the image of being a good lover, when we get told negatively what we’re doing wrong we tend to withdraw.

I’m afraid to say that men are very at fault here, thinking we know everything, particularly about sex. But here’s a fact, the only way we know if something feels good and pleasurable is to ask.

It’s important to respect your partner’s communication and guidance. This will build deep trust and safety between you.

This gentle approach opens the door to communicating about other areas of life as well. You’ll also find that after doing this a few times it will be easier to talk about sex in a more open and honest way. - (Jonti Searll, sensualist)

Comments:
Thank you. It is always nice to ask first imo.  
Definately, as long as you ask only once.  
Good advice Donner


A truism I have applied in my erotic life with great success.
 
Why did I just KNOW that was a Donner post upon reading the first line ;-)  
Ras,

I'll try and hide it next time.
 
;-) Donner

Just pulling your leg.
 
PA, is this pic a bit too risque for your site?

Wouldn't want to be offending anyone!

I know Ig is a sensitive sort of chap.
 
Okay, someone explain to me how to get a picture with my posts!  
If you forget to ask ...


plead ignorance !
 
ras,

not at all brother! expect a mail soon btw.

Davids,

just go edit your profile!
 
Hey we got more hits than Keo today.  
DavidS,

Just click on your name, then 'edit profile'.

Search for an 'appropriate' picture on the net (use Google image search for quick results) or load up one of your own pics.

Once you find a suitable pic, right click on it, click on properties, copy the URL and then go back and post that pic URL in your profile under the appropriate section.
 
Hey, no more damn typekey, every comment is going through as smooth as a SpearLeaders thigh!  
By the way, thank you to whoever directed me here. I just knew you guys couldn't not post for a whole month but I was damned if I could find you.

The guilty culprit, you know who you are, thank you.
 
collapsing comments also helps!!!!  
donner,

i think we got more articles than keo too............:)
 
Thanks okes



Can't I just copy one from my own 'my pictures' file?


lol@ rasp


Smooth as a spearleader's thigh
 
What was that? Who is now between my girls' thighs?  
Ou die Brannas

Ja die Brannas , die brannas is n wonderlike ding

ek gaan by die kroeg en syp'ie hele aand

Die Brannas is n wonderlike ding

na net n paar moer ek enige iemand klaar !

ek's nie bang vir jou ma en raak nerens moeg !

Die Brannas is n Wondelikke ding !

Steve Hofmeyer dink sy pappa is groter as myna ...

Ek skop hom sommer met al twee pote ... dan skree sy EINA !

die Brannas is n wondelike ding !

Ou steve gooi n vuis hou ... ek moer hom weer my Chyna !

Skielik toe hy huis toe gaan dink sy ma Dis Blackie Blou Swart wat kom kuier !

die brannas is n wondelike ding !

Ja Die Klippies weet nie van verloor af nie !

Die Red BuLL Help glad nie vir Stevie nie !
 
Give it a go, David, perhaps it will work but I think you'd have to upload it to a picture storing site first in order to create a URL which the blog can then recognize.

Perhaps the 'edit profile' functionality had an option to upload pics, I never noticed.
 
More pics than Keo
More hits than Keo
More stories than Keo
No stories from Simon ;-)
No stories from Chris ;-)
No Typekey

Is this what they meant by nirvana? ;-)

Still, do miss Ig stamping his foot and Tackler going off on one and St Mich doing the 'jolly hockey sticks' number.
 
must be honest, me too ras. maybe ig will be nice and redirect muppits here by pasting a line in keo, hell they are directing them to some other shyte site! traitors!  
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